I’ve always wanted an unconventional life. A life that’s exciting, a life I’d be proud of and remember. I want to make a difference, even if it’s minute. However the culture I belong to and the society I live in make it quite difficult, if not impossible. Everyone needs to act a certain way, a be a certain way or else you’re judged or condemned. I can’t be who I want to be, because I don’t have the opportunity to do that.
This society sucks the life out of a person. This society which believes everything is wrong and inappropriate. I feel imprisoned.
“I feel like I’m standing in the middle of a crowded room screaming at the top of my lungs and no one even looks up” (Titanic). I can never really be myself, I’m not allowed to be myself.
I know that going anywhere else will be extremely difficult and exhausting. But I want to be able to walk down the street. I don’t want to be conned in everything. I don’t want to feel like a second-rate citizen in my own country. Or a second-rate human because I’m a girl. I want a life that’s mine. I want independence.
I look around and think this place can be much more than it is. But I’m not going to wait around to find out. I’m not gambling away my life, it worth a lot to me. Even if other people don’t understand the value of time, I do. And I want to make the most out of my time, because regret is the worst feeling imaginable. Anyway all I really want is to have as much control as possible over my life. I am a firm believer in fate, that’s why I accept fate as an invisible hand having some control over my life, but not other people.
I want to choose the life I want to live, regardless of how it is.