Concentration Catastrophe Monday, Jan 12 2015 

 I have suffered from a short concentration span my entire life. I am unable to focus for prolonged periods of time and my mind goes foggy on a regular basis, particularly when I’m talked to directly. The situation is aggravated when I’m stressed or under pressure, because it leads to physical symptoms. I am currently experiencing these physical symptoms; i.e. I have a migraine.

 It is highly unpleasant when you’re trying to work, even worse when you are required to work, but are incapable of performing your tasks because your mind is shutting down. It becomes exceedingly frustration when the more you try to concentrate the more difficult it is to succeed. As the pain descends from my brain to my eyes, my eyelids start drooping and I slowly loose the battle against my mind. While one might blame such a situation on sleep deprivation, the truth has more to do with lack of concentration. 

Even though distractions contribute negatively to my situation, they are sometimes required to ease it. Remaining seated for a long time is usually exhausting, for it forces me to focus on a single task. A notion I find tedious if not excruciating. There are very few occasions where I can stay seated and remain attentive, unfortunately these occasions almost never take place at work/school. As a result I wander around with less than half of a focused mind, while the rest strolls in daydream-land. 

New Year Wednesday, Dec 31 2014 

New year, new outlook
New chances, new opportunities
But same life, same you

Quotes on Writing Sunday, Dec 7 2014 

“It’s none of their business that you have to learn to write. Let them think you were born that way.”
– Ernest Hemingway

“Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in its use.”
– Mark Twain

“And as imagination bodies forth
The forms of things unknown, the poet’s pen
Turns them to shapes and gives to airy nothing
A local habitation and a name.”
– William Shakespeare (from A Midsummer Night’s Dream)

“Any man who keeps working is not a failure. He may not be a great writer, but if he applies the old-fashioned virtues of hard, constant labor, he’ll eventually make some kind of career for himself as writer.”
– Ray Bradbury

“The art of writing is the art of discovering what you believe.”

– Gustave Flaubert

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”

Maya Angelou (I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings)

“Lock up your libraries if you like; but there is no gate, no lock, no bolt that you can set upon the freedom of my mind.”

– Virginia Woolf (A Room of One’s Own)

“The most important thing is to read as much as you can, like I did. It will give you an understanding of what makes good writing and it will enlarge your vocabulary.”

J.K. Rowling

“Fantasy is hardly an escape from reality. It’s a way of understanding it.”

– Lloyd Alexander

“And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.”

– Sylvia Plath (The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath)

“Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia.”

– E.L. Doctorow

“Those who find ugly meanings in beautiful things are corrupt without being charming. This is a fault. Those who find beautiful meanings in beautiful things are the cultivated. For these there is hope. They are the elect to whom beautiful things mean only Beauty. There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written, or badly written. That is all.”

– Oscar Wilde (The Picture of Dorian Grey)

“I can shake off everything as I write; my sorrows disappear, my courage is reborn.”

– Anne Frank

“Fiction is the truth inside the lie”

– Stephen King

“Writing is utter solitude, the descent into the cold abyss of oneself.”

– Franz Kafka

“The pages are still blank, but there is a miraculous feeling of the words being there, written in invisible ink and clamoring to become visible”

– Vladimir Nabokov

The Calm After the Storm Sunday, Nov 30 2014 

After the violent winds
After the stong rains
After the lighting and the thunder
Comes the calm after the storm

When the clouds open up
When the sun shines
When the rain stops and the winds are softer
Is the calm after the storm

But the damage is done
But the trees have been uprooted
But the houses are ruined
What’s the use of the calm after the storm

Because it is peaceful
Because it is serene
Because it is clear
Because it is the calm that can only come after a storm

I Am Who I Am Sunday, Nov 30 2014 

I have to stop thinking it isn’t me
Because whatever it may be it is always me
Whether in the past or the present it’s always the same
History repeats itself, but doesn’t change

I am who I am and they do not accept
Whoever I am they do not accept
More than once I’ve changed before
But I will always be the same at the core

I try to believe that someday it will be different
But the truth is they are content
With or without me their lives move on
So maybe my presence just seems wrong

I am who I am
And I can only change so much
I am what I am
Is that not enough?

I Wish Not To Care Saturday, Nov 29 2014 

I wish not to care

Because to care is to feel

And to feel is to acknowledge that other mean something to you

But others mean nothing, if you don’t mean anything to them

I wish to not to care

Because to care is to love

And to love is to respect others

But you can’t respect others, if they don’t respect you

I wish not to care

Because to care is to show your true vulnerability

And to show your vulnerability is to set yourself up to get hurt

To get hurt over those who don’t care, is more painful than having no one to care for

Vanishing People Saturday, Nov 29 2014 

People vanishing

I find myself alone again

I don’t understand

Loss Tuesday, Oct 7 2014 

A loss that’s too deep
You wish you could never let go
Hold on, hold on tight!

Change Tuesday, Oct 7 2014 

Change will always come
Not every change is welcomed
Time, stop! Stay the same

Desire Saturday, Aug 16 2014 

Desire

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