Queen of Procrastination

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Obstacle Course.”

Think about what you wanted to accomplish last week. Did you? What are the things that hold you back from doing everything you’d like to do?

My version of the above quote is as follows: “Why do today what can be done tomorrow, or next week, or next year, or NEVER” – Queen of Procrastination

I have granted myself this esteemed titled, which was approved by my friends and family, because I always leave everything to the last possible minute. There are three reasons why this happens:

1. Because I’m overwhelmed with the amount of work I need to complete
2. Because I’m uninterested in the work I need to do
3. Because I’m distracted or just lazy

I’ve learned to work well under pressure when I was an undergrad, usually as a result of procrastination. But now that the years of papers and deadlines are behind me, I have less of a reason to pressure myself. I put estimated deadlines to encourage/pressure myself to work within a particular time-frame, but because I know that not meeting these deadlines will have no consequences of any kind I’m less inclined to follow them. As a result I keep postponing things. I’ve been editing a novella I wrote two years ago and had planned on finishing it by the end of the summer. I’ve worked hard on editing it and then once I had more things on my plate, I simply put it aside. I have 5 out of 27 chapters left and for some reason I couldn’t bring myself to work on them. So my novella is left incomplete in a taunting file on my computer.

References: Ranting, Ranting II, Ranting III, Ranting V, End of the Semester (Terrorism)

Fictional Future

It’s no secret that I have always been a fan of fiction, be it as a written literary work or a motion picture. Delving into a world that is not real is appealing to me. While I enjoy more realistic fiction to fantasy or science-fiction, the fact the events have not and probably would not happen in reality is a comfort. I immerse myself in the character’s lives to the extent that I forget about my own life, which I guess is the whole point. However this is quite dangerous, because after a while you start to forget that you owe reality a lot.

It’s easy to escape from the worries and troubles and doubts that life hands you. But the more you run away the further you are from dealing with them. What I’m saying is not new; it has been said thousands of times. But I’m talking about myself, about how for the past year I ignored my future and pretended like it will sort itself out without me needing to do anything. I lost myself. For over a month now I’ve done something even worse, I put my passions aside. I stopped writing, stopped imagining, just stopped!

But I’m hoping all of this will change soon. I’m hoping that I will wake up and throw myself back into my work. Start creating again. I need to stop running away and start focusing on my future once more.

 

Song of the Week: Sara Bareilles – Brave  

Ranting IX

Today is Parent’s Day at work, which means I literally have no work to do. I work as a teaching assistant for Year 6. Not the best job in the world, but certainly better than most other jobs. I love the kids I work with and I want to kill some of them simultaneously, the teachers are sweet, I have a ton of vacations and I get home at a decent hour. So all in all not bad. That being said, I’m very BORED right now! So far I’m spending my day between chatting with some of the teachers, when they aren’t talking to parents, roaming around and sitting on the computer. It’s going to be a long, dull day, but I expected that.

 

I’m looking forward to this weekend; I’m doing MUN with my sister. She has a shortage in delegates and I’m experienced and really miss it. For anyone who doesn’t know what MUN is, it stands for Model United Nations. And it entails constructing a miniature version of several UN councils. After discussing certain topics for several weeks, the members are assigned delegations. They pose as representatives of their assigned countries during the conference, debate the topics and present a formally written resolutions in the end. As a whole the experience enhances one’s research and public speaking skills. Plus you learn a lot about current world issues and get to dress up in formal wear.

 

Once again, I AM BORED!!!!!

The Next Step

Wednesday was my last day as an undergrad. I couldn’t believe it, I still can’t. It’s quite surreal. I don’t think it will really sink in until I start working or at least until graduation, or when it’s September and I don’t have classes. I’m excited, terrified and in disbelief. I just don’t know what I’m going to do with my life now. I don’t have some grand plan. I have a rough plan for the far future, but not for right now. It’s scary to not be standing on stable ground, to have no idea where you’re going. And I’m neurotic, so this is driving me crazy. I wish I had any sign that everything will work out.

I’m hoping to get my masters, but I still don’t know when I can do that. I want to leave, to start my own life, to be independent. Things around here are going from bad to worse every day, and I just don’t want to be a part of that anymore. I look back at my life and I realize that I let life just pass me by. I feel that I haven’t really lived, and that the only way I can really have a life is away from here. As much as I know that I’ll miss my family and friends, I also know that staying here is no longer an option especially that a lot of my friends have either left or are planning on leaving. I’m afraid of not having someone to fall back on when things get bad, but I know that I need to learn to stand on my own two feet. That’s one of the main reasons why I need to leave, among other things. Either way I know that I’m about to embark on a new adventure, whether I’ll enjoy it or am up for it only time can tell.