Inner Conflict

This topic is very broad and complex and shouldn’t be taken lightly, however my discussion of it is more personal. I am not a conservative person, nor have I ever been, but unfortunately I live in a highly conservative society. The way I was brought up, conflicts with my own views as well as the shared views of the society. I won’t go into detail, but what you need to know is that has led to an inner struggle; a struggle that I’m having a hard time overcome and that is consuming.

Freud claims that people internalize societal values that repress them. That the true source of repression is external, but internalizing it is the way to insure its effectiveness. I happen to agree with that notion. People imprison themselves within themselves, because of values they may not even believe in. This guilt eats away at a person, leaving them hollow. This form of socialization results in generations of blinded people; people who don’t understand the real meaning of what they have been taught until they start questioning it, and by then it’s usually too late. Altering a person’s belief system takes great effort and convincing, however it happens quite often. This brainwashing procedure turns people into ghosts; nameless, faceless beings that are worth nothing. But what I’m talking about isn’t that, what I’m saying is to teach people and have them think for themselves that is what’s difficult.

Questioning beliefs, values and customs is really what inner conflict is about. But that is seen even more, when the values of different cultures start to blend with one another, when logic and rationality conflict with norms and customs; leaving a person torn. Blind faith is easy, believing without comprehending is simple. Analyzing what you were taught to believe isn’t. I hate when someone tells me that something is right or wrong without giving me a reason. It drives me crazy and I consider it an insult to my intelligence. Right and wrong are subjective. Even the worst crime of all is up for debate. Taking a person’s life intentionally is the worst thing anyone can possibly do, however killing a killer is not. That is just a basic example of what I’m trying to say. Thus nothing is concrete and nothing is eternal. Everything changes. But does that change leave people more lost, or does it provide answers? Should one be submissive to societal values and customs or challenge their beliefs and try to understand them? How far does choice really go? Does this fight come to an end?

Sometimes I wish I could just scream, in the hopes that it would bring me some relief!

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One thought on “Inner Conflict

  1. The more you need others’ approval, the less freedom you can have. If you challenge your own values, you are challenging those of the people that gave them to you. Integrity demands honesty with yourself, but the need for the agreement of others is a lost cause. Been there, done that. I feel for you.

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