The Next Step

Wednesday was my last day as an undergrad. I couldn’t believe it, I still can’t. It’s quite surreal. I don’t think it will really sink in until I start working or at least until graduation, or when it’s September and I don’t have classes. I’m excited, terrified and in disbelief. I just don’t know what I’m going to do with my life now. I don’t have some grand plan. I have a rough plan for the far future, but not for right now. It’s scary to not be standing on stable ground, to have no idea where you’re going. And I’m neurotic, so this is driving me crazy. I wish I had any sign that everything will work out.

I’m hoping to get my masters, but I still don’t know when I can do that. I want to leave, to start my own life, to be independent. Things around here are going from bad to worse every day, and I just don’t want to be a part of that anymore. I look back at my life and I realize that I let life just pass me by. I feel that I haven’t really lived, and that the only way I can really have a life is away from here. As much as I know that I’ll miss my family and friends, I also know that staying here is no longer an option especially that a lot of my friends have either left or are planning on leaving. I’m afraid of not having someone to fall back on when things get bad, but I know that I need to learn to stand on my own two feet. That’s one of the main reasons why I need to leave, among other things. Either way I know that I’m about to embark on a new adventure, whether I’ll enjoy it or am up for it only time can tell.

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