Being Alone

Today I’m going to be completely honest with you; something I haven’t done before. Not to say that there wasn’t truth in my previous entries, but today I’ve decided to be more open. For most of my life I’ve felt that being alone was the worst thing in the world. However as I grew up, I came to realize that it might not be such a bad thing. When you’re alone no one can possibly hurt or disappoint you, but more importantly you can never hurt, disappoint or lose anyone. I know that loneliness leads to many psychological diseases; but there are times, when being alone is just easier.

I feel that I’ve been fucking up my own life. I’m usually quite organized, but when it comes to my personal life somehow I’ve managed to make one colossal mistake after the next. It’s possible that subconsciously I’ve been pushing people away on purpose. I’ve always been defensive, for reasons I won’t get into, and now I doing it for no reason. I’m being bitchy to my friends and family for the slightest irritation. Today I hurt a friend of mine and I don’t think he’ll forgive me. I crossed a line, it was unnecessary, idiotic and inexcusable but I did it anyway. I went out to dinner with two close friends and my sister. I was really looking forward to it and it was going great until that point. I was so frustrated and upset that I ended up leaving early. Being alone makes me secure, because I know that there is no one for me to disappoint, not even myself.

GOUNA 2013

Over spring break my sister, a few friends and I went to Gouna. For those of you who don’t know where that is, Gouna is like compound in Hurghada, Sinai.  It was an incredible and extremely relaxing trip, which we were all in desperate need of. I spent the majority of the trip with my sister, and mostly on the beach. I spent a lot of the tip tanning, writing or both. If you think that must’ve been boring you are truly mistaken. I didn’t feel like partying or experimenting with different activities, I just needed a break from my very busy, very hectic life and that’s exactly what I got. It felt great to be away from traffic for a few days; we usually walked everywhere. I also met a couple of friends while I was there, not surprisingly since half the people who go to college with me were there. Back to the beach, we were on the beach at every possible hour of the day from before sunrise to midnight.

??????????????????????????????? Pharaoh inspired boats ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? water under the bridge Yachts in the MarinaCigarette smoke on a moonlit night ??????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????

 Can’t live without my morning coffee can't live without my morning coffee

Art is everywhere surrounded by art wherever I go

my sister next to an authentic Egyptian souvenir store

As the sun rises over the water

Pre-sunrisesunrise 1sunrise 2sunrise 3sunrise 4sunrise 5   my sister's attempt to hold the sun :)??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????Swings are for any age