Dilemma 9 (What Am I Doing Here?)

They had finished all the work that had tied them together, and yet she found herself standing in his foyer in the middle of the night.

“Drink?” he asked

“Yes, please” she answered almost unconsciously. She felt like she was standing outside her own body, watching herself in this peculiar situation.

He handed her the drink, which she graciously accepted, and he invited her into the living room where they both enjoyed their drinks. They stared at one another for a while without exchanging a single word. He hadn’t the slightest idea why she had called upon him in the middle of the night, but he was hoping that it was for the reason he had in mind. However this time she had no real excuse; the work between them was done. She continued to stare at him with a seductive look in her eyes. He was curious and slightly aroused.

He walked toward her and fell to his knees at her feet. She placed her empty glass that she had been fidgeting with, at a nearby table. She then ran her fingers through his thick head of hair, while pressing her foot between his legs. It made her feel in control, a feeling she very much-needed in her life at the time. She heard him moan as she moved her foot back and forth. He moved his hands up her thighs, rolled down her panties and threw them aside. Before he could make another move, she moved her foot backwards relieving the tension between his legs and stood up. Imitating her he rose to his feet allowing her to unfasten his belt and unzip his pants. She unbuttoned his shirt as he unzipped her dress exposing her breasts. She threw his shirt aside, let her dress slide off her body and fall to the floor, pressed her lips against his and allowed him to aggressively enter her.  Throughout the entire process she felt her body burn up with fury, which was what fueled the affair; anger and hatred. But even though that was the case it didn’t stop him from passionately embracing her or stop her from screaming in ecstasy.

“This means nothing you know that right,” she said as she walked out the door.

“Of course,” he replied with the same air of indifference he always had about him.

As her visits grew more frequent, the hatred between them grew less and less.  Their relationship was one of the body and sometimes the mind but there was no affection between them. She could choose to end this affair whenever she pleased and that power gave her a sense of security. While they were sharing dinner for the first time, as she had refused to make this something more than what it is her phone rang. It was him, finally calling her back after weeks of not hearing from him. She walked out of the room and spoke to him in private, with an uneasy feeling in her stomach, for what she thought was an hour but turned out to be no more than ten minutes. Their conversation was precise and to some extent truthful; she however neglected to tell him one minor detail, her current location. She returned back to her dinner and the man who awaited her.

“I’ve always known that you were spontaneous and had a degree of wildness to you, but the more I get to know you the more I realize how unique you really are darling,” he said during their dinner conversation.

“Don’t call me darling,” she responded firmly and got up to leave. He grabbed her arm gently as to stop her and continued in all honesty “that’s not how I meant it, I understand what this is.” That however didn’t stop her from leaving. Back in her own bed she thought “what am I doing?” A question even she didn’t know the answer to. What she did know however was that she needed to end this immediately.


35 thoughts on “Dilemma 9 (What Am I Doing Here?)

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