Even after she stressed on the urgency of the conversation she needed to have with him, he didn’t call her back. That made her question not only their relationship, if you can even call it that, but also his feelings towards her. The fact that she needed to assume how he may feel irritated her, however not more than the fact that she needed to initiate every move and every step that would take them forward. The confusion in itself annoyed her and drove her insane.
She had never before allowed a guy to really drive her crazy, but he was different. She really liked him, even though at this point she didn’t even know why. He told her he liked her; however he never really acted on it. That’s why she wanted to ask him what was this thing between them really and whether it meant something to him and whether he wanted to move forward or would he rather they end things. She felt that she was losing control; a feeling she never enjoyed. She was also enduring all the stress and had none of the privileges. She felt she was playing both the part of the girl and the guy in this nameless endeavor, which caused her a lot of anxiety and tension.
She walked into the living room with her dinner feeling hopeless and frustrated. She was too preoccupied with her screwed up love life that she could barely taste the food in her mouth or concentrate in what she was watching. She patted her dog, which rested by her feet, fearing that all this frustration would cause her to do something irrational in order to salvage her self-esteem.